Daily Haiku – 18.11.2013

Near the brightest light
His silhouette shades the world.
Our Moony darkness.

It’s called a tittle
When you laugh about the dots
On top of the ‘i’s.

Her pin-prick pupils
Let in the very least light.
So she loves summer.

My new restaurant
Doesn’t serve actual food.
It’s too good for that.

This constant aging
Really gets in the way of
Most second chances.

Daily Haiku – 17.11.2013

Creaking plastic hurts
Under the heel of thin socks.
Stepping on Lego.

A toy collection
So large it unbalances
Our planet’s orbit.

Our lord and savior
Crumbled under the pressure
Of such a title.

Wide, bright glass windows
Line the malls, exposing our
Capitalist shame.

One dozen razors
Placed in random door-handles
Will ease my tension.

Daily Haiku – 16.11.2013

An energy drink
Made to taste like alcohol
Would ruin evenings.

Do you need a lift?
Because you seem really stuck
Down there in your hole.

These twisted staples
Holding my face together
After Saturday.

I look in the pool.
My reflection grabs my arm
And pulls me under.

These eraser crumbs
Littering all my notebooks
Are signs of defeat.

Daily Haiku – 15.11.2013

His bushy, bushy beard
Doubled as a nest for birds.
Easy access lunch.

When we fell in love
All our friends knew straightaway
‘Cause we became twins.

Anne Alcoholic
Ruined her life for she was
An alcoholic.

Wet t-shirt contests
Really help raise awareness
Of local douche-bags.

My lost dignity
Someone listed on TradeMe.
One dollar reserve.

Daily Haiku – 14.11.2013

I spend my summers
Wishing misfortune on you.
You know what you did.

All this rotting flesh
Piling up in a mountain
I’m saving for lunch.

My favourite spice
Is broken glass thrown into
The eyes of my foes.

The haunted dance school
Creaks with its ghostly rhythms
And rotting students.

Paul Pencil-sucker
Wasn’t allowed on air-planes.
Due to all the lead.

Daily Haiku – 13.11.2013

The whirr of air con
Is the purring of small cats
As they fan your air.

You’re risking your life
Every time you step outside.
(I am a sniper.)

Her spit was acid.
Her blood was molten lava.
Which made her tetchy.

Thomas Terrorist
Hated everyone that he met
Until he met you.

In my bank account
There is a single dollar
Begging for siblings.

Daily Haiku – 12.11.2013

At their sleep-overs
Both Ashleys bitched about Bec
And vied for her love.

I got my revenge
By filling his guts with wasps
During a picnic.

The busdriver’s bag
Rolled over during transit
Spilling his sex toys.

Lofty yacht failure
Makes bad coffee worse coffee
More like Depresso.

My nine pet llamas.
It’s hard choosing favourites.
Quite the dillama.

Who is Zinzan Brooke?
A man as complex as you.
Outmatched by the world.

I have spent whole lives
In the day before pay day.
Poor refresh button.

If you hate pash me
Don’t expect me to ignore
My bursting wee heart.

Grind your teeth to gums.
And lick your tongue from your face.
Eternal hate pash.

Daily Haiku – 11.11.2013

I prick bros with pins
To watch them slowly deflate
Then pop their collars.

Nice crispy bacon
Crackling on the barbecue.
Firebomb the cops.

His lusting for life
Shouldn’t have been a problem
But life was engaged.

Her tiny high heels
Made her totter Giraffe-like
Through her enclosure.

My favourite blogs
Are all the old white people
Mourning the near past.

Daily Haiku – 10.11.2013

The turn of the Earth,
This galactic pirouette,
Spins out of control.

My thousands of guns,
Come in all shapes and sizes,
One for every look.

The giant pimple
At the centre of your chest
Pops, Oozing out love.

What you meant to say
Is that really I’m awesome
Between your sobbing.

The man made of milk
Was a lovely chap to meet
‘Til things turned sour.

Daily Haiku – 09.11.2013

The slippery filth
Of long sleepy Saturdays
Is hard to workround.

Every job listing
Should be more realistic.
“Wanted: Superman.”

I fucked Lucifer
With a giant spiked dildo
We then spooned, smiling.

Everything feels new.
All I can see are changes.
The cracks inside things.

The constant struggles
Of the constant struggling:
A constant struggle.

Giant litre flasks
Full of noxious alcohols
Pickling the world.

Daily Haiku – 08.11.2013

I have heaps of time
To waste at the last minute
Doing the wrong things.

The time that I sneezed
My whole brain out of my face
Did help my headache.

All these massive gaps
Between all of our atoms
Make us giant sieves.

Gaffer tape the world
To stop it falling apart
Well… It’s worth a try.

Diligently check
All the corners of the house
To find escape routes.

Then he starts crying.
He can’t stop and dries to sand.
(How we get beaches.)